Have you ever felt powerless in life?
I have.
Sometimes life throws at you unexpected, terrible things and in those occasions, you feel defenceless and at the mercy of forces greater than yourself.
This is human.
In less extreme situations, though, how many times have you said: “I don’t have a choice“?
*Raising my hand*
In the past, I have heard myself repeating this sentences more times than I’d like to admit. However, lately, I find myself repeating it more out of habit than out of conviction.
I am shifting my mindset.
This started years ago when I was preparing a presentation for a group of managers and directors on “team performance”, to propose some changes within the department.
The first slide of my presentation had only one word on it:
“CHOICE”.
My theory was the following: Until every individual in the organisation makes a conscious choice to bring a certain attitude to the workplace, to work together, to really make a difference, nothing will change. The leader has to be the first to make this choice. He needs to shift his mindset, take responsibility and decide to create the right environment to put the team in the position to choose to change as well.
Applying this learning to everyday life was a real aha moment for me.
Once you realise that your circumstances depend only on yourself and on your choices, your life changes.
As Benjamin Hardy points out in his article “The 2 Mental Shifts Highly Successful People Make” (find 30 minutes today, read it and digest it…it is worth it!):
“Once a you make this shift, you are empowered to pull yourself from poverty of time, finances, and relationships. In other words, the first shift allows you to create a happy and prosperous life, where, for the most part, you control how and on what you invest your time.”
“I don’t have a choice” is a lie you tell yourself. It is an easy way to avoid responsibility for your unhappiness.
Truth is, more often than not, you have alternatives. You just have to choose to dig deep and find them.
You can choose to change your job, your relationship, your financial status. Or at the very least, you can choose to change your attitude towards your job, your relationship, your financial status.
You might have heard the say “happiness is a choice”. No. This is not what I am talking about here. Happiness is a consequence of your choices. If you just choose to be happy without first addressing the very things that are making you unhappy, not much is going to change.
I am still working towards this “shift in mindset”, it is not easy.
It means shaking off years of conventional thinking. Years of hearing “what can you do?”, “it’s not possible”, “you are being unrealistic”, “you can’t”.
Actually, you can. And you will. And, turns out, it’s your responsibility to make it happen. You are the leader.
Empowering, isn’t it?
It doesn’t stop here though. As Hardy also says in his article:
“If you are seeking a life of individual happiness and prosperity, you need read no further. However, if you want a much higher degree of growth, relationships, and contribution, here’s how the second shift works…”
The second mindset shift (The power of context) will be the next step, I am still trying to master the first one.
Let’s try this: every time you feel like saying “I don’t have a choice“, ask yourself: “Is that true? What else can I do? How can I make it better?“.